The Unspeakable Truth

As you lay dying

I haven't lost hope.

I see a sadness in you

Like you're ready to go.

Staring at the ceiling

In a trance..

What do you see?

I'll never know,

You won't tell me.

I know you don't like to see me cry.

It hurts me to know

You suffer in silence.

Your emotions trapped inside.

Sleeping the days away;

Waking up for pills

To stop the pain before it starts..

I'm grateful for that.

I just wish that I could get you out more,

I wish your appetite would come back.

I stay strong before you,

But it's hard to see you this way..

So pale and so tiny,

So weak..

Always craving sleep.
Peacefully you'll slip away.

I know this, but I dread that day.

I've had nightmares about it.

I love your smiling strength in spirit,

You've helped to keep me strong.

Your childlike innocence

And kind heart of gold..

I couldn't have asked for a better mother.

I love you more than life.

I wish you could live forever..

Just not like this.

The Calm Before The Storm

Talk the talk
The glass half full,
The sun is always shining.

Glistening rays of light
Touch everything in sight.
With squinted eyes
You realise
There's beauty
In it all.

With light
There must come darkness.
You see the shadows cast behind.

Back
Behind
Reverse
Rewind..
Lessons never learned.
A change of focus,
And now you're dwelling.

Misery wants company.
A social butterfly it seems.
With broken tattered wings,
She cannot fly,
Nor is she singing.

Helpless in despair.
Reaching out does not mean
Save me.
Just a motion away
From carving her way..
Towards scarred everlasting,
Screaming shame..
or
Gone forever more.

In the calm before the storm..
A silence falls,
A clarity forms.
Suffering escapes into words..
Life goes on..

For now.

Lovestruck Marionette

So many years ago
I held you
It was then
I called you mine.
I could look into
Your smiling eyes
Until the end of time.

Love
Struck..
My obsession,
I was crazy over you.

Magnetic from the start.
Such intense desire.
Crash and burn, time to heal..
We'd jump back in the fire.

Marionettes..
Our hearts were.
Plucking at the strings,
Look watch them dance.
Wicked we played
Snip snip, now suffer
Stand by and watch,
Tie up the ends..
It was just a game.

I savored the thrill of highs,
Braced tight the lowest times.
I guess we took for granted,
No matter what..
We'd always be.

Then it was over.

Years went by..
I often thought of you.
Then..
What a beautiful surprise
To see those smiling eyes.
Out of the blue..
You were there.

We held eachother close
A long warm embrace,
Never wanting to let go,
I was so happy.

Days have gone by since then
My calls to you unanswered.
Confused I sit and wonder
Are we playing the game again?