Finding Peace

In silence I sit here
Savoring the nothing that I hear.
Thoughts cease racing,
My mind becoming clear.
Worries are but a breath,
Exhaled become nothing.

Sinking gently deeper
I melt into the calm.
Namaste explains this place,
It is of love,
It's where we're
One.

A Letter To The Other Side

Dear Mother with love,

I think about you everyday and miss you all the time.

How's life on the other side?

Is it beautiful like they say,

in a mystical kind of way?

You're always so happy 

in our dreams.

I've been told that 

you're always with me.

I can't see,

but I believe.

Life isn't the same without you,

so much has changed.

When it rains, it pours

but...

When the sun chases away the clouds;

that rainbow that follows

reminds me

to keep looking on the bright side.

Tonight I'll light a fire

and hand this letter

to the flame.

As the smoke rises

and fades away,

I know in my heart

that this letter will find you.

 

The Unspeakable Truth

As you lay dying

I haven't lost hope.

I see a sadness in you

Like you're ready to go.

Staring at the ceiling

In a trance..

What do you see?

I'll never know,

You won't tell me.

I know you don't like to see me cry.

It hurts me to know

You suffer in silence.

Your emotions trapped inside.

Sleeping the days away;

Waking up for pills

To stop the pain before it starts..

I'm grateful for that.

I just wish that I could get you out more,

I wish your appetite would come back.

I stay strong before you,

But it's hard to see you this way..

So pale and so tiny,

So weak..

Always craving sleep.
Peacefully you'll slip away.

I know this, but I dread that day.

I've had nightmares about it.

I love your smiling strength in spirit,

You've helped to keep me strong.

Your childlike innocence

And kind heart of gold..

I couldn't have asked for a better mother.

I love you more than life.

I wish you could live forever..

Just not like this.

Goodbye to a Beloved Family Pet

Detour I look at your pictures and I can't help but cry, I miss you already. I remember bringing you into our lives in the palm of my hands..a tiny baby just like my son. I watched the two of you grow together for the last fifteen years.

I smile and laugh a little thinking back to the days when you were both babies and Braelen thought of you more as a fluffy toy as I'd always catch him dragging you by the tail across the kitchen floor. Other cats would have scratched or bit him but you never did..not ever. Back then you just seemed to know that he was little like you and just didn't know any better. Then five years later Kaya came along and again you were just as patient, gentle and understanding with her in her baby & toddler stage.

I think anyone who ever met you loved you..what was not to love? You were just this big cuddly, gentle cat that would never hurt a fly. I have to laugh now cause thinking about it I don't think you ever did kill a bug..ever, maybe you might have fainted if anything. A bit of a coward you were but that's ok..it was cute.

You were such a beautiful cat, not just in appearance but personality..forever purring you seemed to always be happy and oh so calm, cool & collected. Just being in your presence was enough to bring anyone out of a negative mood.

Another memory that stands out strong in my mind was the time you woke us and saved us from a house fire..not just your average house cat but a hero as well.

In my eyes you are so amazing. I'm so grateful that of all the kittens I could have chosen that day I picked you, or should I say you picked us.

I'm so glad you got to be a part of our lives for so long. I think you had a good life, I hope so. You gave us comfort, joy, happiness, security & so much more. I hope that we gave you a good life in return.
I only wish that you didn't suffer so much before you passed away. It was heart wrenching seeing you that way. We all love you so much, we never wanted to lose you but in the end your death was a relief as it brought an end to your suffering. Although a relief, it doesn't stop the tears from falling. Watching videos and looking through pictures makes me smile remembering all the good times but then I cry cause none of that will bring you back. Thank you for touching our lives with your beautiful little soul. I'll always love you and I'll never forget you. R.I.P Detour aka Dootee XOXO


More pictures to come...

I use this picture as my screensaver now. I think it's very fitting as Detour is now sleeping peacefully.

My Better Half

You slipped into my life
Like an angel in disguise.
My fairy tale prince,
I saw forever in your eyes.

An introduction so kind and alluring
I was flattered with your romantic charm
I felt myself falling oh so quickly

An instant connection
A race car to love
Long lost twin souls
Yin and yang split up
Reunited...a magical bliss.

We sat upon a pedistal
Looking in the water
Our reflections were as one

We savoured every moment
It had never been like this.
Unexpected lightning strikes
So intense
We awe at its beauty

Something too good to be true
I had to go and say it..
Then the waves came crashing down
Houdini waved his wand
I looked and you were gone

Devastated,
My soul cried out
My heart tore to pieces
As black flower petals
Fall and shatter.

I cried a thousand tears
I begged to know why
I fell to my knees
Crushed and broken inside

You stepped into my life
When I didn't know I needed you
You lifted me out of my dark despair
And made me feel alive.

My twin soul
So like me, yet opposite
Our bond eternal
I love you
Unconditional

Quiet Sadness

I know you see
The pain in my eyes,
I can't tell you
What makes me cry.
You would understand but...
Think I don't see your side.

In matters of the heart
We're on a different level.
You can't fall in love
When your heart's still broken.

My feelings lay beneath the surface
I don't want to scare you away.
I savor what is right now
And try not to wait and expect
Something that may never be.