The Calm Before The Storm

Talk the talk
The glass half full,
The sun is always shining.

Glistening rays of light
Touch everything in sight.
With squinted eyes
You realise
There's beauty
In it all.

With light
There must come darkness.
You see the shadows cast behind.

Back
Behind
Reverse
Rewind..
Lessons never learned.
A change of focus,
And now you're dwelling.

Misery wants company.
A social butterfly it seems.
With broken tattered wings,
She cannot fly,
Nor is she singing.

Helpless in despair.
Reaching out does not mean
Save me.
Just a motion away
From carving her way..
Towards scarred everlasting,
Screaming shame..
or
Gone forever more.

In the calm before the storm..
A silence falls,
A clarity forms.
Suffering escapes into words..
Life goes on..

For now.

Goodbye to a Beloved Family Pet

Detour I look at your pictures and I can't help but cry, I miss you already. I remember bringing you into our lives in the palm of my hands..a tiny baby just like my son. I watched the two of you grow together for the last fifteen years.

I smile and laugh a little thinking back to the days when you were both babies and Braelen thought of you more as a fluffy toy as I'd always catch him dragging you by the tail across the kitchen floor. Other cats would have scratched or bit him but you never did..not ever. Back then you just seemed to know that he was little like you and just didn't know any better. Then five years later Kaya came along and again you were just as patient, gentle and understanding with her in her baby & toddler stage.

I think anyone who ever met you loved you..what was not to love? You were just this big cuddly, gentle cat that would never hurt a fly. I have to laugh now cause thinking about it I don't think you ever did kill a bug..ever, maybe you might have fainted if anything. A bit of a coward you were but that's ok..it was cute.

You were such a beautiful cat, not just in appearance but personality..forever purring you seemed to always be happy and oh so calm, cool & collected. Just being in your presence was enough to bring anyone out of a negative mood.

Another memory that stands out strong in my mind was the time you woke us and saved us from a house fire..not just your average house cat but a hero as well.

In my eyes you are so amazing. I'm so grateful that of all the kittens I could have chosen that day I picked you, or should I say you picked us.

I'm so glad you got to be a part of our lives for so long. I think you had a good life, I hope so. You gave us comfort, joy, happiness, security & so much more. I hope that we gave you a good life in return.
I only wish that you didn't suffer so much before you passed away. It was heart wrenching seeing you that way. We all love you so much, we never wanted to lose you but in the end your death was a relief as it brought an end to your suffering. Although a relief, it doesn't stop the tears from falling. Watching videos and looking through pictures makes me smile remembering all the good times but then I cry cause none of that will bring you back. Thank you for touching our lives with your beautiful little soul. I'll always love you and I'll never forget you. R.I.P Detour aka Dootee XOXO


More pictures to come...

I use this picture as my screensaver now. I think it's very fitting as Detour is now sleeping peacefully.

The Ghosts of Past, Present and Future

By ghosts I'm referring to thoughts, we all dwell in those sometimes don't we? Some much more than others. I crave for quiet time alone to spend pondering and analyzing my thoughts. At night in my solitude is when I find I'm most at peace. At times I feel as though I think too much sitting oh so quietly within the chambers of my mind while the world around me sleeps. Then I ask myself, "If this is something that feels good, then how can it be wrong?".
I think that everyone needs time alone to think, to meditate, to reflect within themselves to learn and grow. The hustle & bustle of everyday life, rushing around and running yourself ragged can't be healthy. It's no wonder people bitch and complain so much, they hate their life, their job, their current situation etc.. They don't take time outs.

If you're like me, a new age thinker, into metaphysics and the Law of Attraction then you believe that everything is energy, including our thoughts and what you think about you bring about. Think about it, really think about that, it's a lot. To learn this is one thing, teaching it is another thing but to live it is a whole other story. Easier said than done, but like anything practice makes perfect.

The ghosts of our past are never far behind. It's funny how hearing, seeing and even smelling things can trigger memories, whether they be good or bad. The good ghosts are nice, they leave a smile on your face and maybe remind you of a story you'll share with a friend. It's the bad ghosts that haunt us, reminding us of times we would much rather just forget. But then of course feelings are awakened. Negativity is plagued within your mind and emotions, stuck in it like a fly on a sticky trap. Cheer up! look on the bright side..what a joke right? Well, now to stay in this state of mind for any length of time, don't be surprised if your life suddenly falls apart shortly down the road (what you think about you bring about).
Or...you can train yourself to stop dwelling on those ugly ghosts. There's many ways to do this but I'll just touch on one. That is gratitude. No matter how bad a situation was or is there's always a bright side and there's always at least one thing you have to be grateful for. You think not? You're alive aren't you? roof over your head? food to eat? kids? family? friends? pets? Be grateful for the sun in the beautiful sky, the air you breathe, the smell of fresh cut grass. If you have a hard time thinking about what you should be grateful for, then just think of how much worse your life could be. That usually helps. Being grateful diminishes bad thoughts and feelings because you can't feel positive and negative at the same time, it's impossible.

Looking back is ok to do a little bit, it's like referring to your map to see where you're going. However, focusing on the past for too long and you'll lose sight where you're going. How can you see ahead of you when you're walking backwards?

The future hasn't happened yet so you can chose either fork in the road. You can be optimistic and confident that things will fall into place and be promising. Or, you can agree with your ugly ghosts that your life is shit and will always be, and it WILL always be (what you think about you bring about).

If you have a hard time imagining a better future for yourself then it's best you just focus on now. Get off the negative train at gratitude station and from this day on take note of every little thing that makes you happy. Smile and think about it, write about it in your journal and praise people (especially kids).
One day after doing this for a while you'll feel the beautiful feeling of well being. A warm loving feeling that radiates through your whole body. That is you inner self showing you through your feelings that you're on the right path. Know that feeling, savior that feeling and try to never lose it. If it feels right, go for it. If it doesn't feel right that's your inner self telling you it's wrong. 
Living in the now is a gift, it's called present isn't it? Cherish this present and better days will soon follow..you see ;-)