An Angel In My Eyes

Nurtured by your womb
A soul within a soul.
Within darkness
Into the light,
Then began
The cycle
Of my life.

Baby steps
You held my hands.
School plays
You smiled and laughed.
Teenage years
Shit, I'm sorry.

I learned my lessons
I smartened up.
You stood by my side
No matter what.

Hair greying
I thought it was time
A grandmother once
A grandmother twice.
Such a good one
I'd say the best.
Always here with us
Til I laid you to rest.

Even cancer couldn't
bring you down
You smiled and laughed
and joked around.
You were so brave
You kept me strong.
I focused on the now
Not when you'd be gone.

Never knowing when,
You were doing so well.
A sudden turn,
And then downhill.
Three days at your bedside
I held your hands.
Laboured breathing
Became less and less.
My arms became your blanket
I shed tears upon your chest.
You bowed your head
As if to hug me,
Closed your eyes..
Your final rest.

The Unspeakable Truth

As you lay dying

I haven't lost hope.

I see a sadness in you

Like you're ready to go.

Staring at the ceiling

In a trance..

What do you see?

I'll never know,

You won't tell me.

I know you don't like to see me cry.

It hurts me to know

You suffer in silence.

Your emotions trapped inside.

Sleeping the days away;

Waking up for pills

To stop the pain before it starts..

I'm grateful for that.

I just wish that I could get you out more,

I wish your appetite would come back.

I stay strong before you,

But it's hard to see you this way..

So pale and so tiny,

So weak..

Always craving sleep.
Peacefully you'll slip away.

I know this, but I dread that day.

I've had nightmares about it.

I love your smiling strength in spirit,

You've helped to keep me strong.

Your childlike innocence

And kind heart of gold..

I couldn't have asked for a better mother.

I love you more than life.

I wish you could live forever..

Just not like this.